Madadeni (04/20/97)

Family-

Well, another week has gone by and I didn't even get a chance to send off my last letter.  It was quite an eventful week for us.

The grandmother of one of the members of the branch here died and so we were involved in the funeral proceedings.  They do funerals so differently in the Zulu culture. They have an official time of mourning for a couple of days and during that time people come to pray and sing with the family.  But it is so depressing. The house is just dark and cold and everyone was quiet.  I didn't lie the feeling of that.  There is some kind of grass mats that they women visitors sit on (after taking off their shoes) I sat next to a woman whom I didn't know but I was later told that she was a relative of the family and she wants me to marry into her family because she loves me and was so impressed that as a white woman I sat on the mat like a Zulu and that I knew Zulu culture etc.  The thing she didn't know is that I didn't have a clue what I was doing.  I was just following everyone else and was actually experiencing culture shock.  I just thought it was funny.  They slaughter a cow as part of the custom.  I saw it being done.  That was a new experience!  And this was all before the day of the funeral even!  Saturday was the funeral.  It lasted 3 hrs (for the pre-cemetery service) They had all 6 missionaries sit up front with the other priests and pastors.  They were going to Sister Russel and/or I speak but then decided to have a member do it so that it could be in Zulu.  I was glad! But it was a wacked service, there were like 15 speakers and the whole congregation would break out into some song.  They probably sang 30 songs.  There was dancing and clapping involved.  The whole thing was in Zulu so I was pretty lost.  They called on one of the Elders to give an impromptu talk.  I was glad it was him and not me!  After the cemetery everyone goes back to the house (the service is held under a huge circus looking tent in the yard of the house) and they (the family) feeds everyone. There were hundreds of people there!  they eat the slaughtered cow.  They made a special meal for all the LDS people there because we don't eat slaughtered meat.  The slaughtering is part of the ancestral worship that the Zulu's do.  They believe that their ancestors are their mediator between them and Jesus Christ.

Anyhow, everyone was amazed that we (white people) were there at this funeral.  They treated us with so much respect! It almost made me feel uncomfortable.  A member later told us that the speakers kept mentioning how God is blessing this lad because now there are white people attending their funerals.  The whole thing was an interesting experience.

Serving here in Madadeni sure can be a boost to a person's self esteem!  Being proposed to is flattering especially when the man isn't even drunk.  Also, the single young adult men were telling the Elders how they all have crushes on us.  I think it is so funny!  It's totally because we are white.  They just are not used to having white girls/women talk to them, let alone be nice to them.  So they are all freaking out having Sisters in the branch.  It really makes me laugh.  I'm going to come home and feel neglected because marriage proposals won't happen daily! :)

Well, what a week, hu?  Oh, also, I got in a big fight with one of the Elders.  He even swore at me, well, actually, not at me but around me.  It was pretty bad.  The dumb thing is, I didn't and still don't know what we were fighting about.  He just one day began being rude to me. I asked him about it and he went off swearing (on the phone), then hung up.  We baked him cookies and now we're friends again, I guess? His only explanation is that I'm different than any of the other Sisters.  Whatever! He's South African - explains some of it!

Well, I had better go!  I love you!  Oh, I'll phone sometime in the afternoon your time on Mother's Day.  It's too complicated to try to figure out the time difference etc.  I look forward to speaking to you!

I love you!

Michelle :)

(I had to laugh while re-reading and typing in this letter.  It's just funny to see my perspective on things at this point. Obviously I was in major culture shock as I was trying to adjust to township life.  But the part that cracks me up is about the Elder that I got in a fight with. I still don't know exactly what that fight was about, but the fact that I blamed it on him being South African makes me laugh.  I had seen a few men be rude to their wives/mothers and so I had the impression that all South African men were like that  Obviously I was just making a blanket judgement.  That Elder and I ended up being great friends by the time I left the area.)